


Solving the Riddle of my despair

by Sybil_Silverphoenix



Series: Harsh Realities [4]
Category: Thor - Fandom
Genre: Loki Feels, Loki makes a deal with the Devil, M/M, Thor is concerned for his little brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:16:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4759586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sybil_Silverphoenix/pseuds/Sybil_Silverphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki researches everywhere he can for information on how to free his sons from the curses that trap them in animal form... but once he figures out the solution, he requires certain items to create the perfect device to aid him in his quest to free his boys. The only problem is one of these items... Scabrite, a rare magic draining metal... is only found in one Realm... Muspelheim or Helheim as it also known...</p><p>So Loki has to make a deal with a Devil to get a key ingredient. Will it be worth it? Or is it too much for the Dark Prince of Asgard to bear?</p><p>A continuation of my Harsh Realities series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Quick Study

**Author's Note:**

> I prefer the look that Mephisto has in the comics (red skin with black hair)... only I also like to imagine that his voice is Alan Rickman's.
> 
> Enjoy the read :)

Loki scoured the Great Library of Vanaheim for any books on Norn magic, curses, and how to break curses. He found the study of curses informative on the construction of the spells used to alter and trap his sons in their current animal states… but nothing on how to break them without killing his boys in the process. Loki’s despair and sense of hopelessness only grew with this dire knowledge… and so with a heavy heart he had to leave Vanaheim in search of answers.

“If you need anything… anything at all… you let me know and I will procure it for you, my Love.” Njord declares as he caresses Loki’s cheek softly. The bittersweetness of this parting already within his ocean hued eyes.

“I’ll write.” Loki says with a teary smile as he pulls the Vanir King into a kiss… pulling away reluctantly before it can deepen. Loki then looks to his twelve year old twins with Skaldi… Uller and Sigyn who are both giving their beloved second mother sad eyes that implore him to stay.

“I will return… one day, my sweet little trouble-makers.” Loki says as he takes a knee and both children rush into his open arms.

“Bring Sleipnir back, Mommy.” Sigyn says through her tears.

“I will do my best, sweetheart.” Loki says and kisses the girl’s dark red hair.

“Tell him we miss him, please… and that we can’t wait to see him again.” Uller says with a breaking voice. The tough acting Vanir Prince has finally showed his true childish self in the wake of losing his brother as he weeps against Loki’s shoulder.

“I will… and I shall bring him home as soon as I can. I promise.” Loki says to his two secret children. Everyone on Vanaheim (as well as the other Realms) believe that Loki helped Njord impregnate his wife… not that Loki himself did the deed to plant children in Skaldi’s belly. No one cared too much about it to voice their displeasure at the act of their King bedding another man… such a thing isn’t completely taboo on Vanaheim… but the end result was two beautiful children of the Royal Line. Uller, Crowned Prince and Future King… and Sigyn, the Sorceress Princess who will one day become the Head Priestess in the Eastern Traditions.

“Good luck… good hunting… and may you find what you seek.” Skaldi says as tears slip from her forest green eyes. She kisses Loki sweetly on the lips in farewell… Loki caresses her cheek gently in his own loving way… then Loki turns and approaches the tall mirror in the King’s Chambers. He offers a final sad smile over his shoulder at the family he has grown to love and care for in the decade he has lived here on Vanaheim.

“Until our paths cross again. Take care of one another.” He says in farewell then departs through the mirror to step through the between spaces and arrive on Asgard. He did so in secret so that Thor would not bother him whilst he conducts his research. No distractions, no deviations… not until he has his Answer.

 

___________

Ten Seasons pass… and there is no direct answer to his problem forthcoming from any book. There is the study and theory of creating hexes and applying those spells to anything you wish to curse… transmutation of living things (in which Loki learns that the living thing being changed is ‘folded’ out of space-time and therefore goes ‘unchanged’ as time passes… so Loki can rest assured that his children will revert to the way they were when the spell was cast upon them)… and finally Loki learns of the various techniques to break curses, but Norn Magic he learns is far harder to break. Only Norn magic can dispel Norn magic.

Then one day as he is disguised as a serving girl, Loki watches Thor and Fandral spar down at the training grounds. Fandral is making a dashing show as his speed keeps him just barely ahead of Thor’s powerful swings… they are using swords, Fandral’s rapier and dirk vs Thor’s long sword. Thor maybe tall and bulky… but he is damn near as fast as Fandral with that heavy sword in his hands. One wrong move and Fandral will lose either limb or life… perhaps both.

But as Loki watches, he thinks of hexing and counter-hexing… like vs like… parry the weaker swipes, dodge the powerful ones… parry the curse, redirect the power of it. THAT’S IT!!!

Loki races back to the library… inadvertently dropping his illusion to hide his true appearance before he even leaves the training grounds. He passes soldiers, courtiers… dodges a large man (was that Volstagg coming from the kitchens?)… and bursts into the palace library. He quickly finds the book he was studying about Nornheim and the nature of its magic. He finds the desired page in all haste… and quickly reads off how the mist, the frost, the water, even the very dust and stones contain huge amounts of magical energy stored within them. So much so that the plants, animals, and even people living there are now saturated with that energy as well.

He knows what he must do… he needs Norn stones… crystal clear and deep green… which shall serve as the power source for this project. Loki also desires Nornwood which will channel the power of the Norn stones as well as his own magical force. It will even add its own store of energy when needed. Lastly, Loki will require two metals… the unbreakable Adamite which when fashioned into a blade cuts through anything save other Adamite (unless it is glowing red hot then it goes through the heated metal easily) and magic draining/channeling Scabrite.

Adamite can be easily acquired from Dwarves… for the right prize, of course… and Scabrite, sadly, is found upon only one Realm… Muspelheim, Realm of Fire, and that means Fire Demons. Loki despises Fire Demons… they are so arrogant, too self-assured, and far too cunning in their manipulativeness. They’re just too damn alike to him… and it pisses Loki off immensely that he has anything in common with such filth and vileness.

He then hurries to his chambers and scrawls out a quick, concise letter to Njord detailing the raw materials and the amounts he needs. As soon as the ink is dry, Loki folds the paper and sends it along the quantum lines of subspace. It will appear before the High King of Vanaheim practically instantaneously.

Loki then sits and waits for several minutes before a piece of folded paper pops into existence before him and is snatched from the air. Loki opens it and reads…

 

_Dearest Loki,_

_I can procure the Adamite, the Norn stones, and the Nornwood… but not the Scabrite. I will send an envoy to the Fire Realm if you need me to though. I will do anything to free our sweet son from this retched curse… just say the word, my Love._

_Yours always,_

_Njord_

 

The writing is bold and sure… written by a strong hand. Loki quickly scribbles out a reply telling Njord not to bother about Muspelheim. He will deal with the Fire Demons through subtle means. Loki sends that letter and soon finds a reply appearing before him… it cautions him to be careful. Loki smiles at that.

 

__________

Thor blocks Fandral’s strike and looks up over the slighter man’s shoulder as he sees a flash of green and gold… _Loki_ … is the only thought in Thor’s head at the sight of his dark haired little brother hurrying away… but it is just a flash, blink and he’ll miss him…

“Loki?” Thor mutters under his breath and suddenly he finds himself falling backwards… pushed down, or rather tripped, by Fandral in his moment of distraction.

“Do you yield?” Fandral asks as he twists the end of one golden whisker as he holds the tip of his blade to Thor’s throat. Thor doesn’t answer… he merely tosses his long sword aside… it sticks point first into the massive wooden pillar that holds up the tent awning over the rest area… and hurries off leaving a confused Fandral in his wake.

“Odd.” Sif says as she walks out onto the sand of the sparring square.

“Did I hurt his feelings beating him like that for the first time?” Fandral ponders aloud as Sif approaches him.

“I don’t think that is what vexes him.” Sif says as she watches Thor take the stairs into the palace two at a time. “He has the look of one on the hunt.” Sif then adds.

 

___________

Thor dashes down the corridors. He slows and halts for a brief moment when he seen Volstagg who claimed to have seen Loki pass not but moments ago… also in a hurry. Thor thanks his friend and runs even harder now hoping to find Loki in his chambers.

Thor knocks hard and insistent upon the large double doors that serve as the main entry point to his secretive brother’s rooms. He pushes on the press plate expecting the doors to not give… but they open… and so Thor enters. He is panting a little and quickly takes some deep breathes to ease his racing heart as he smoothes his shaggy golden hair down.

“Loki?” Thor calls out as he steps into the receiving chamber and eyes the different doors that lead to the different rooms of Loki’s chambers. He gets no answer… not a peep… but a green flash and a soft crackle through a slightly ajar door catches Thor’s attention. He hurries to it and through… only to see Loki preparing to walk through a full length mirror into a fiery scene beyond.

“Loki! Wait!” Thor shouts as he dashes forward. Loki looks back over his shoulder just before he passes through. The dark haired Prince of Asgard bites at his lower lip and quickly passes through the mirror’s surface leaving Thor staring at his own reflection a split second later. “Loki.” Thor says as he stops before the mirror, hands braced against the wall as he stares blankly at the glass. He thumps his head against the smooth surface and sighs heavily. He misses his little brother… misses him in many ways… but mostly Thor is worried for Loki. He isn’t sure of how Loki feels now a days. They used to be so close… now… it feels like there is a Universe separating them and Thor doesn’t know what he can or should do to lessen that distance.

Well… if Loki wants space… he can give him that, but Thor wants to speak with his brother about what he wants from their relationship… such that it is. Only time will tell. First though… Thor wants to know where Loki has darted off to now… and knowing Loki, he will be hiding from Heimdall, so that leaves Thor with one other option to finding his wayward brother. He’ll go to the same person who has been helping him track down Amora this last decade… his mother.


	2. Of Deals and Things to come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Deal is struck and the terms rendered... and the fallout ensues.
> 
> How do you love when you have been made hollow inside your heart?

Loki’s heart races as he feels the portal close behind him. Thor had seen him… Thor had followed him… Thor… Why? Doesn’t the Golden Prince have more important things to do? Loki huffs as he holds onto his anger to get him through this. He needs to focus right now. He has a task to complete… for his sons.

Loki straightens his shoulders as he stands up straighter and wipes away the tears that have slipped down his cheeks. He is willing to walk through Hel for his boys… so here he is… in the Realm of Fire seeking a rare metal that will help to free his boys of the curse they have been placed under… and it will help drain away that heartless bitch’s magic so Loki can finish her off for good.

He walks proudly through the blackened forest of thorny Ironwood trees. The place is eerily silent with only the sound of Loki’s boots crunching, softly though they are, over the charcoal colored sand beneath his feet. The trees open up and Loki finds himself staring up at a tower of glistening black stone set against the yellowed sky. A mote of molten rock flows around the base and Loki can feel the immense heat coming off of it. It is stifling… and he hasn’t even left the forest yet.

As soon as he takes three steps from the safety of the thorn trees, a glowing red hot arrow hits the ground before him. It melts the ground around it creating a puddle of molten metal and sand the size of a hand. Loki immediately freezes in place then a trio of strange centaur looking beings come out. They are taller than Loki. Their horse bodies are strong like mighty warhorses on Asgard and their hominoid torsos ripple with muscle under gray skin. Their faces are more squared set with large reddish orange eyes. They frown and sneer at Loki… the intruder upon their land.

“I have come to make a deal with your Master… Mephisto.” Loki says loud and clear. The demonic looking centaurs study him for a moment holding their bows with the wicked looking arrows at the ready. Tails swish and hooves stomp… the lead centaur then raises his bow and aims point blank at Loki’s chest. Loki stares the centaur down.

“Nexon… enough… let the fool pass.” Comes a smooth monotone voice. It is deeper than Loki’s own, but it cannot compare to Thor’s rich baritone. The centaurs side step… parting as their Master approaches. He is Mephisto… one of the Nine Demon Lords to rise up in the wake of Surtur’s defeat nearly three thousand millennia ago.

His hair is pitch black with no shine… long and wild with frizz. His skin is a bright red and nearly every inch is on display covered only by a black vest and frayed kilt with orange and gold accents. A pointy black chin beard is the only facial hair the Demon Lord possesses… and his red fingers with black claw nails stroke that length of beard as he contemplates Loki. Black eyes with fiery yellow pupils move slowly down then up Loki’s own lightly clad form.

“An Asgardian… in my Realm. Hmm… and asking to make a deal.” Mephisto says… his voice becoming sharper, harder. “What is it that you want from me?” Mephisto then asks as his fiery orbs bore into Loki’s icy eyes.

“An Asgardian Stone’s weight of pure Scabrite.” Loki says as he tilts his chin up at the Demon Lord who smiles a shark smile at the Dark Prince of Asgard.

“And what will you give me in return? Your soul? Asgardian Souls tend not to find their way here… no, the disgraced ones find their way to the Devourer of the Damned, Nidhoggir… the Dragon that gnaws at the roots of the World Tree.” Mephisto then scoffs at Loki and chuckles a short laugh. Loki frowns but his haughty stance holds firm.

“I have other coin… of which I can use… to pay.” Loki says and his voice loses a bit of the arrogant edge. Mephisto raises a brushy black brow at that.

“And what coin could you possibly possess to give me, Aesir child?” Mephisto says with a sharp smirk. Loki doesn’t reply right away. Mephisto sneers. “You have nothing to give… neither do I.” Mephisto then says harshly and turns to strut away.

“Wait!” Loki calls out. “I do have something! I can-I can give you a son!” Mephisto stops and turns around, black eyes narrow.

“And what would I need a son for?” The Demon Lord asks in a dangerous whisper.

“An heir? Even demons fall prey to age and die if they don’t enough souls… or they can be eliminated by rivals.” Loki says… his confidence growing as he notices Mephisto giving this pitch some serious thought. Loki strolls forward to walk daintly around the Demon Lord. “A son with me could certainly become a great and terrifying warrior… a force that you can control to destroy your rivals… and win you greater renown, even more of this Realm under your control.” Loki says seductively. “And all for the price of an ingot of Scabrite. Some would call that cheap. So… can we make a deal?” Loki says as he comes around to face the Demon Lord once more.

“An ingot of Scabrite for a General to lead my forces onward to conquer Hell?” Mephisto says with a smirk as he regards Loki now in a new light. He reaches out and grabs the Asgardian Prince’s skinny arm… the fire in his black eyes blazes brighter. “We have a deal.”

 

___________

Loki gasps and whines as he feels the searing heat of the Demon Lord’s red flesh upon his as Mephisto thrusts hard into him. Loki wants to scream in pain as well as pleasure… the two sensations war within him as he is fucked mercilessly. It has been a full day since the deal was struck and Loki wonders if this all is really worth it.

He thinks of his children… the twins he has lost, the twins he has with Skaldi, Sleipnir, and Fenrir… he is now a day closer to freeing his trapped sons, but the burning pain of Mephisto’s skin is nearly too great. The Demon Lord laughs heartily as he drives his member deep into Loki’s body.

“Scream you little slut. Scream!” Mephisto growls out as he grabs Loki’s hips… his black claws bite deep into milky flesh as he increases his pace. Loki grips the chains that shackle his arms as the burning sensation increases as well. Loki screams and sobs as he is used and Mephisto growls out a long moan as he continues.

“Such despair… such desperation!” The Demon Lord says and chuckles. “I can feel it all within you… the anger, the hatred, the lust for your brother… mmm-mmm… such a naughty little prince. You’ve let ten thousand cocks fuck you. You’ve killed more children than you have birthed… You wallow in your sins! Give them to me! Give me all that pain and hate! Give it all to me!” Mephisto shouts as the floodgate to Loki’s emotions flies open. Loki screams out and thrashes against his bindings but it is no use… Mephisto laughs as he spills into Loki. The Dark Prince of Asgard wails out as he is flooded with what feels like boiling liquid. He is blinded by his own tears as he feels his insides seeming to melt and he starts mumbling for death to take him. That would be a blessing, a mercy… to die right now in this moment. It is what a depraved creature like Loki Odinson deserves.

“There is no mercy to be found here, Asgardian.” Mephisto says sweetly as Loki comes to. His eyes burn from crying and he feels raw, hollowed out. He looks around but everything is vague and blurry. He moves his right hand to try and rub at his face but it is trapped. Loki looks down and notices that he is on a table, shackled down, and heavily pregnant. Confusion washes over him.

“You’ve been out for three days, boy.” Mephisto says as he steps up to the side of the table. He places his red hands upon Loki’s swollen belly. Loki flinches at the contact but is surprised that the red skin doesn’t burn. He is still thoroughly confused. He looks up with pleading bright blue eyes to the Demon Lord.

“This ‘son’ you bear me… is born not from flesh… but from your sins… and they are many.” Mephisto says with a sharky smile. “Now give me this little devil and you get your Scabrite ingot weighting one Asgardian Stone.” And on cue… Loki screams as he feels the familiar pains of labor wrack his slender frame. This pain is more intense than any Loki has ever felt before. Time has no meaning right now… there is only the pain, only the feeling of birthing something that burns as it comes from his body.

The spawn of Mephisto slips free and Loki is left panting. He looks down at what has come from him… it is a black formless blob that writhes. Loki whines at the sight and then suddenly the sound of a heavy metal object thunks by his head.

“Payment in full.” Mephisto says as he looks at Loki. “Though if you wish to make another deal… give me more sons for whatever you require… and I will accept.”

“I’ll… consider it.” Loki says as he rolls off the table as soon as the restrains release his limbs. With a wave of his hand, Loki is fully dressed. “Now… if you will excuse me.” Loki says and he takes one more look at the amorphous blob roiling now upon the floor growing into a more hominid shape.

“I think I’ll name him Black Heart… yes, that is very fitting.” Mephisto says as the ‘thing’ takes on more detail to its appearance. Loki can’t look… he doesn’t want to. He’ll vomit if he does. He has his Scabrite ingot in hand and he quickly uses a mirrored surface to escape this nightmare Realm once and for all. He returns to his chambers… finding them blessedly empty. No Thor, no one, nothing. He feels a little disappointed at this fact… but then again… no one knew where he went. Thor did surprise him by appearing just as he was about to step through his mirror portal… alas, Thor did not stick around to wait to see when Loki would return.

Loki sighs as he settles down into his personal bath then begins to scrub away the icky feeling of being used by the Demon Lord Mephisto. He’ll NEVER do that again. He got what he went for… an ingot of Scabrite. Loki sighs once more this time in relief as he settles back and just floats in his bubbly bath water. Time loses focus for him as he just drifts in the steamy water.

“Loki?” Comes Thor’s rumble… muffled slightly as Loki’s ears are beneath the water. Pale blue eyes open and look lazily towards the Golden Prince.

“Did I give you leave to just waltz into my chambers whenever you wish, Thor?” Loki groans out irritability as he rights himself in the center of his large bathing pool.

“I just wanted… to see you again… it’s been awhile now and, well, I miss you, Brother.” Thor says a bit cowed by Loki’s dismissal.

“Missed me?” Loki says dismissively as sinks down until the bubbly water is at his chin. “You never seemed to express such feelings before.” Loki is distant and detached from this… or at least he is trying to be.

“Aye.” Thor says and his voice sounds sincerer enough. “I miss you everyday and… every night as well, Loki.” Deep down there is a part of him that is thrilling at the thought of Thor pining away for him day and night… but Loki push such hopes down… burying them deep as he repeats how such words are just pretty lures for Thor to have his way with him again then toss Loki aside.

“If your words held such conviction… then you would’ve sought me out sooner to make such sentimentality known.” Loki says coolly and rises from the water.

“I do hold such conviction, Brother. Did my time spent on Vanaheim mean nothing to you?” Thor then says and this strikes a nerve in Loki.

“It meant everything to me!” Loki snaps. _‘And I lost more than I bargained for whilst there!’_ He thinks as he recalls the loss of his unborn twins at the deceit of Amora… that vile, wick sneak-thief bitch! May she be swallowed in the gaping maw of the Devourer of the Damned this very minute!

“I wish you would return home and stay… please. I would anything you asked.” Thor then says breaking Loki’s thoughts. His large hands hold the fluffy towel to Loki’s bared body… drying off his little brother gently, tenderly… lovingly. Loki’s heart melts for his big brother as he watches the corded muscles in those strong arms flex and stretch as they work.

“Hold me… just hold me, brother… please.” Loki whispers out with such vulnerability. Thor says nothing… he just wraps Loki in the large towel and hugs him close… scrawny back to strong chest. Loki rests his damp head back against Thor’s shoulder. “Kiss me, brother… please. Make me forget… make me remember.” And Thor kisses him.

It starts as a chaste press of lips… then deepens… Soon Loki is on his back upon his bed with Thor over him… thrusting into him. It feels perfect… oh so perfect. Loki weeps and clings to Thor. They kiss and moan into one another’s mouths as their passion washes over them. Loki locks his legs around Thor’s waist and he cries out as he spills between them. Thor follows suit a few moments and thrusts later… grunting low as he pounds hard and deep into Loki as he spills inside his little brother. They kiss languidly as they remain joined awhile after.

“I love you, Loki.” Thor declares in hushed pants… his kiss-swollen lips ghosting over Loki’s like a promise.

“Always?” Loki whispers out uncertain. His eyes are pleading and vulnerable. Thor smiles warmly down upon his little brother.

“Always… and forever.” Thor says and then they kiss… though Thor’s words are spoken in honesty… they still taste of a lie… for sooner or later Thor always strays.


End file.
